Building Social Skills in Children

We go through our day using our social skills, often without thinking about them - from communicating, to empathizing with others, to resolving conflict. Social skills are important for navigating relationships each day. But, how do we build social skills in our children?

Social Skills in Children

Children often need to be explicitly taught social skills so they can use these skills as they continue to grow and develop. For example, it is important to learn how to read nonverbal cues (like body language), how to approach other children to play, resolve conflict, listen to others, and cooperate. This can be tricky for some children, as “social rules” can be challenging to understand. 

“Hidden social rules” refer to a range of behavioral and social expectations that are generally understood by the majority of people. Hidden social rules are sometimes not always apparent, which can make it difficult for some children to understand them. Some examples of hidden social rules include chewing with your mouth closed, keeping your shoes on outside, waiting for someone to finish speaking before talking, and greeting or complimenting other people. 

Why is it Important to Build Social Skills in Children?

Social skills are important for various reasons. First, social skills help us have positive interactions with other people, which helps us make friends [1]. Second, building social skills at a young age can help a child with a lifetime of healthier interactions with others [2]. We use our social skills each day, therefore, it is important to help our children learn and develop these skills so they can have an easier time navigating interactions as they continue to grow. 

How Can I Build Social Skills in My Child?

There are various ways to help improve and build your child’s social skills. It is important to remember that some strategies may work for some children, while other strategies may work better for other children. See what works best for you and your child. Consider trying:

• Practice taking turns talking with your child. Explicitly tell them you are going to work on this, why it is important, and make it fun [3]!

• Practice bringing your child’s attention to someone else’s perspective. For example, ask them how they think a person is feeling in a story or in real life, share your perspective with them, and talk about why you made certain decisions to help them understand your thought process [3]. 

• Create opportunities for your child to interact with others who have similar interests, such as by playing a certain sport or joining a club [4].

• Encourage your child to ask other people questions [4]. Also, ask your child questions about their friends.

• Practice certain skills through role play [4]. 

• Teach and talk to your child about empathy. This can be done by talking about different situations and how that might make others feel [4]. 

• Model confidence and social skills yourself [4]!

Other games that can help build social skills include:

• Play emotional charades (take turns acting out different emotions and have each other guess what emotion you’re showing) [5].

• Practice social skills by using stuffed animals [5]

• Try playing the topic game [5]. This includes coming up with a topic, then naming things that relate to that topic by going through the alphabet. For example, if the topic is food, you would go back-and-forth saying foods (i.e., apple, banana, carrot, etc.). 

Conclusion

It is important to remember that it is okay for children to be shy, and some children may be more social than others [4]. While it is important to help our children build social skills, it is also important to appreciate their own individual personality. Kids don’t have to practice every social skill; what matters is that they find ways that feel right for them to meaningfully connect with others! 

If you have concerns about your child’s social skills, or if your child is having challenges navigating friendships, please don’t hesitate to contact info@highpointpsychology.com and connect with one of our clinicians. 

References

[1] Kid Sense. (2024). Social Skills. Retrieved from https://childdevelopment.com.au/play-and-social-skills/social-skills/

[2] Core Education and Fine Arts (CEFA). (2024). What are social skills for kids and why are they so important? Retrieved from https://cefa.ca/what-are-social-skills-and-why-are-they-so-important/

[3] Miller, G. (2023). Teaching social skills at home. Child Mind Institute. Retrieved from https://childmind.org/article/teaching-social-skills-at-home/

[4] Brain Balance. (2025). 6 ways to improve your child’s social skills. Retrieved from https://www.brainbalancecenters.com/blog/ways-improve-childs-social-skills

[5] Positive Action. (2023). 20 Evidence-based social skills activities and games for kids. Retrieved from https://www.positiveaction.net/blog/social-skills-activities-and-games-for-kids

Blog post written by Kassandra Burk and reviewed by Dr. Andrea Stelnicki.

The information contained in this blog post is based on a narrative review of available literature. Some studies may have been unintentionally omitted. You are advised to speak with a healthcare professional to determine if the information is appropriate to your specific circumstances.